Monday, 7 March 2011

Women of Inspiration (part Two_

 Inspiring Women From History.   Part two of three.  From 1700s to WW1

13) Mary Woollestonecraft     Journalist, Author, Critic, Philosopher and Feminist. "Vindication of the Rights of Woman" was published in 1792 - a progressive social critique from a radical thinker who believed passionately in education, equality and freedom. When I read about her life and how she rejected the confines of a career as a governess and the many rigid social morales to which she was expected to adhere, I know she had fire in her belly and her heart.  It must have been  liberating when eventually she was offered a position as assistant editor and secretary for a radical magazine at the time - and even more extraordinary to go to France and become involved in events unfolding in the years of the French Revolution.
14) Harriet Tubman  This reamrkably courageous and compassionate woman escaped from slavery, took huge physical and life-threatening risks to help others escape and became a fierce and influential abolitionist, human and civil rights activist, public speaker and suffragette.  Read her life story - it will fire your imagination, she was truly brave.
15) Hazrat Babajan.  Born in Northern India (now Pakistan) she was a Muslim Saint and Guru - considered to be a holy person of highest order.  Born around 1806 and died 1931.  I include her on my list because I think it has been so hard - as to be impossible almost- for women to be recognised as major spiritual leaders and teachers in most faiths since matriarchal eras.  I might exclude taoism and buddhism from this though, not completely - but there are so few records, it seems, of the names and actual lives of their great women teachers . Also in the religions of the Children of the Book, as a whole, the actual doctrines themselves would have forbidden women to preach or teach.  So a sort of double bind on them, in that case - if they were truly women of faith, they would not dream of violating their religious code by speaking of spiritual matters.  As ever, there have always been exceptions to the rule - but they had to be truly remarkable.  In England, for example, through the years of Celtic Christianity and Medieval period, we had wonderful Christian Mystics such as Julian of Norwich (yes, female) and  Margery Kempe. But revered or respected though they were - no-one would ever have considered giving them an ecclesiastical title.  Abbess was the best you would hope for. By the way, again, like so many women who achieved remarkable things (including the nuns and abbesses just mentioned) she declined the prospect of marriage from a young age.  For more on the life of Hazrat Babajan:
16) George Eliot  I do love George Eliot, for me Middlemarch is the greatest English novel ever written and I re-read it probably every three years.  Nobody could portray small town life and everyday real characters and their choices, dreams and dilemmas as she did.  With a warm and honest voice. To me, this kind of literature matters enormously for women.  Because good literature may be fictional but always reflects real truths about our lives.  If you read MiddleMarch - you couldn't help but share and feel Dorothea's passion for social reform and her burning desire to have an intellectual life and real ethics and values, whatever the smaller concerns of the dramas unfolding around her.  The portrayal of social and political concerns of rural small town life was insightful and honest.  But George Eliot's  personal life was interesting, too.  Another woman who broke the rules ... born Mary Ann Evans. she chose a masculine name to make it easier to write and publish. She mixed with shockingly radical people in definitely not the best circles and lived with her common law husband outside of matrimony.  Was shunned for this by many friends and family - but I'll bet she felt she lived a full, rich and rewarding life.
17) Annie Besant.  She was a human and civil rights activist and socialist member of the Fabian Society (along with George Bernard Shaw and many other prominent figures at that time)  Annie Besant as I see her had a very broad view of the real world around her - she fought for causes outside of her own personal sphere of experience with great imagination and insight.  Prominent in fighting for Home Rule for India and for Ireland.  Also for suffrage for women and working classes. She also became President  of the Theosophy Society. In this way she was an important part of creating broader possibilities for religious tolerance and understanding and I find it interesting the way she combined her socialist views with a spiritual life. The link I have given here focuses on her having belonged to the Freemasons, as I find it quite amusing. But read around if you want a broader picture of her work, that's lots of good links on the web.

18) George Sand.   Well, I debated hard with myself over this one....   as a novelist she was well-known but probably not one of the most outstanding, as a woman she was a strong person, but not noted for remarkable acts benefiting other women or human kind or womankind generally, and some of her philosophies and personal politics were a bit dodgy. (In my view anyway: though I have tried to make this list so as to be not based on my own political or spiritual views, but on recognising women who made a difference and followed a powerful path in life.)  If I am not sure about her, so why include her, then?  I think  because she made it  more possible for a woman  to be just - odd or eccentric or a maverick without necessarily being carted off to a lunatic asylum.  Though I am sure many women were, and had she not been from a very privileged background, she too might have been.    She was a French baroness (name Amantine but chose masculine name, as did many women writers) who wrote novels, well-received by many, slated by some. Also a journalist. She put aside the typical constraining and modest clothing of female aristocracy (and their manners, too!) in favour of men's attire, which allowed her to move about more freely and go where she pleased and do as she pleased, as she said. We can only imagine now how shocking and immodest a comment that was, or  horribly unfeminine thing to even think. Women weren't supposed to want to do as they pleased or to move freely.  Those who wished to insult her or couldn't deal with this feisty lady, and described her as "loud-mouthed and garrulous." Probably she interrupted men when they were talking and had opinions! She also chewed tobacco and had love affairs with both men and women.  I guess she was the equivalent of what would in later days be termed, in hostile and insulting mood, a dyke, or butch.. Well good for her, I hope she enjoyed herself hugely, and very glad I am that these days I can wear trousers and march about if I want to.
19) Mary Seacole  If you ever want an example of the "just get on with it and do it, whatever the obstacles, I will plough through them" approach - here she is.  Born in Jamaica, and of mixed race, she was actually a British Citizen but at that time her racial heritage gave her only partial but not full civil rights.  She was a grass roots, hands on healer and nurse (of the sort taught by family and those in her West Indian community of course, not through formal training as there was none for women.) She knew hygiene, people, folk and herbal remedies and wanted to nurse and care for soldiers in the Crimean War - having heard of the desperate conditions there. Mary Seacole got herself to England, offered her services as a volunteer to the Home Office and was refused in a bigoted and foolish racist dismissal.  She gathered her life savings, raised some more funds, travelled to the Crimean peninsula and set up a boarding house / hospital.  We have her to thank for a huge legacy contributing to modern knowledge on health and hygiene. I often think that although Pasteur, Koch and others were recognised for advances in hygiene and germ theories, not long after this period - the real ground work had been done by women such as Mary Seacole and Florence Nightingale. Probably saving hundreds and thousands of lives, ultimately.
20)  Florence Nightingale.  I am going to include her as I think the advances she made in good hands on health care were extensive, and as she had the courage to step outside her conventional middle class English world and do something she believed in, with tireless dedication.  Also I will add: on the theme of women's contribution to hygiene in health:  this has a long history.  Traditionally, even since medieval times, it was often women who did the actual nursing, once a doctor had visited and made diagnosis (and applied leaches etc!)  Women - very often in nunneries - and monks in monasteries - would do the everyday care.  Hygienic practises were a real part of this - and a lot was known but unfortunately elsewhere in doctors surgeries and hospitals, it was dismissed.
21) Marie Stopes.  Again, a huge contribution to modern health care and particularly for women's health - because of her determined and unflinching work in informing and educating on facts and  methods of family planning and birth control. For a lady to talk about these matters, and as frankly (including sexually and anatomically frankly) as she did was pretty disgraceful.  There was also ethical and religious attitude to contend with and the whole status quo. Doctors and Churchmen condemned her. But her books sold incredibly rapidly - people were crying out for this knowledge.,.... I mean DESPARATELY.  Particularly working class women - literally dying in poverty and squalor, of post-natal or post-abortion infections, exhaustion  and malnutrition from excessive childbirth and complications, and so many associated miseries. Marie Stopes founded the first national birth control clinics. She has been controversial because of some of her expressed views on eugenics. However, in context it should be remembered that this was very much a buzz concept and in vogue at the time and was not necessarily understood in the way we understand it now. George Bernard Shaw and many others were advocates. Marie Stopes did boldly assert that she believed women had the right to knowledge of and control of their own biology and to information and choice, for that I thank her.
22) Rebecca West.  Yes one of my favourite bold, bright women!!  Journalist, novelist, essayist,  literary, social and politic critic and feminist and suffragist.  Beautiful, crystal clear, thoughtful prose and observations and gentle - or sharp - humour.  Read her Novel "The Birds Fall Down" - it's superb.  She was made a Dame of the British Empire in recognition for her contributions to journalism and literature.  Another woman with an uncoventional personal life.  Very supportive of other women writers, friends with Anais Nin, and - rather funny - wrote a fairly harsh review of an HG Welles novel, refusing to compromise her literary analysis as a newspaper critic, just because he was her lover and common law husband for a decade.  (I can imagine the conversation over the dinner table - "darling, so sorry, but gave your latest a bit of a bashing, in The Times this week!....")
23) Marie Curie.  I won't say a lot, but every time I have had an x-ray I think of her.  She eventually died from leukeumia caused by radiation: she certainly deserves my silent prayer and gratitude. What courage this brilliant woman had, in carrying on her work after the death of her husband and colleague.  She was awarded two Nobel prizes, she taught at The Sorbonne, and raised a daughter who also became a Nobel Prize winning scientist.  Marie Curie  drove ambulances on the front line during WW1 and was head of the Red Cross Radiology department. She supervised and worked hands on with fitting ambulances with x-ray equipment. 
24) Virginia Woolf. Many many other reasons to add this interesting woman to my list, for novels, essays, journalism and more.  But just on the strength of the book "A Room With a View" she already earned her place.  wonderful. clever, unphased by accepted current world view of women's lives.
THE THIRD AND FINAL POST OF THIS TRILOGY ON INSPIRING WOMEN WILL FOLLOW TOMORROW.  SIX WOMEN FROM WW1 TO PRESENT DATE. 
follow your dreams and passions my friends.  we don't have to be famous or brilliant, what really makes us more whole is that we make our own and someone else's lives a little more whole along the way because we dared to do and to believe....
xx eva day

Sunday, 6 March 2011

International Women's Day 2011

To mark International Women's Day, I decided to just make a simple post of acknowledgement to some women from history - whose lives or work have been inspirational to me.  I would have liked to have written a more up to date article on contemporary social issues, globally, for women..... but I acknowledge that post treatment brain fog is still too cloudy for me to focus enough on that.. Many thanks to all the women out there who are working locally, nationally and internationally to improve the lives of women.
I have another blog - more devoted to creative, random and various eclectic themes. I decided to post this on this blog - focusing on healing and choices for creative living - to reflect the concept of healinbg women's lives. Which of course is also about healing men's lives ......
I have added a link, for more intro background on each women..... of course, there will be much more out there should you get more curious...
MY LIST OF WOMEN FROM HISTORY 
 (sorry, not too keen on the word herstory but substitute it mentally if you wish of course!)  Apologies for a fairly Euro-Centric emphasis here - but this list is my personal list and tends to be what I am more familiar with, having grown up here, however I have attempted to at least acknowledge this and extend into other continents to some extent.... 
1. Lilith   Was she really a dreadful demon - or just a bold, free-spirited and independent woman!?
2. Hypatia.  Lived in Alexandria in around 350BC.  Eminent and brilliant mathetmatician and scholar of philosophy, languages and astronomy.  Formulated several significant mathematical theories, taught students in theories of Plato and Aristolte, influended many other contemporary scholars including Socrates who respected her intellect highly.  My take - most have been a determined woman, to achieve so much in a very male intellectual environment.  Hypatia was respected by many of the lead figures in the growing early Christian communities at the time, though herself a pagan. However - due to a personality and ego clash among factions (actually more so than any religious differences) she was brutally attacked in the street - in her 60's - stripped and beaten and stoned to death.   If there was such a thing as a pagan saint and martyr then - do we nominate her as one?
3)  Sappho - yes, Ancient Greece once again, and I chose her for the clarity and elegance and flow of her poetry and the freedom of her love for others and powerful sensual relationship with her own body and the natural world.  (yeah, she was bi-sexual - so what?)
4) Judith.  The Bible stories about her appear to have at least some historical basis.   A leader, Judge, Prophet and Military General - she lead troops into battle and was respected for her wisdom in civil matters.
5). Cleopatra.  At first take - this might seem a really obvious choice and easily by-passed.  However, I chose her because she was I think an excellent stateswoman, strategist and politician... As is so often the case, with powerful women,  the immediate impression we have of her, or often portrayed, is based on her feminine life - her lovers, sexuality and marriage, childbirth etc.  However she ruled - and very well - an extraordinally powerful and wealthy country, managed many factions and a great deal of treachery (including murderous members of her own family) and helped unite Old and New Egypt.....
6) Boudicca. Queen of the Iceni, who lead her tribe in ancient Britain in resisting the Roman brtually here at that time.  Some of the speeches she gave, of which there is sparse records, seem to have been very stirring... She described herself not only as a Queen prtecting the wealth, territory and interests of her people, but as  (to paraphrase in contemporary English) " an ordinary woman who would fight for her freedom, family and rights - and if the men want to be slaves to the Romans, that's their choice, but I shall not!"
7) Hilda of Whitby.  An Abbess and Christian saint - but actually a stateswoman, diplomat and politician.  Consulted by kings, lords and the Great Important Leaders of the time for her common sense, learning and solution driven approach.  (She presided over several abbeys, including Whitby which was the venue for the very important Synod of Whitby in 7th Century - a sort of bridge building between Celtic and Roman church... )
8) Christine de Pisan.  14th Century - Venezian but spent most of her life in France.   Kown as first woman definitely documented in Europe, to have made her living as a writer.  After the death of her husband - she supported herself and her children in this way.  Emminent and respected teacher and scholar, and respected at court and amongst nobility at time.
9)  Artemesia Gentileschi,  Renaissance painter.  I like her for the power and skill of her paintings and for who she was.  Firstly - again, damned hard work, I would imagine, to gain recognition in the male art world at the time.  However she also boldly spoke out publicly against rape.  This really was extraordinary...   she had been raped at a young age (late teens) and instead of agreeing to be the culprit and silenced, and quietly married off to the man - went to court and spoke out, thus inviting huge stigma upon herself.  Some contemporary historians, in critiquing her work, have observed that there appears to be a frequent theme of anger or aggression towards men.  (With the implication this indicates a problem or weakness)   It seems to me entirely appropriate that such a gifted woman, with such a tragic event in early years approaching adulthood, should express this in her art.  I do hope these (yes, mostly male) historians are equally interested in some of the sadist images of women portrayed by males in the name  of art?  (The Rape of the Sabine Women or The Rape of Europa for example were favourite images for males artists for years through classical times - very exciting I am sure?)
10 ) Amina, Queen of Zazzau (now part of Nigeria) 5th - 6th century.  Muslim Queen and Military leader  (yeah, I do like these warrior queens) - a fierce and skilled fighter, and like our Lizzy 1, refused to marry, placing her rule and government first.  (In the Islam tradition by this time, her power would have been perhaps even more diminished than would Elizabeth's, had she married...   debately of course.)
11) Queen Elizabeth 1st.  I thought hard about whether to include her - in a way doesn't deserve to be NOT on my list!! But like Cleopatra - she is too often associated with the legends and romantic tales around the biology and sexuality of womanhood : yeah maybe she was a virgin or maybe not - I would imagine not - but again  so what!?  More to the point she was clever enough to not hand over her power into matrimony and to even make a wonderful legend of that, stating that she was married to England.  (By the way - if I was her, having a father like Henry - I wouldn't have been too keen on the idea of marriage for personal as well as political reasons,  either. ) So - aside from all of that: she was a highly intelligent and well-educated woman, gifted in languages, ruled directly and was very astute in doing so. (Implies no comment on the morality of any of her decisions.)
12)) Aphra Benn - English renaissance playwright, very successful in her time, witty and adventurous tales, with strong women and maverick men.  Charles 2 requested a private viewing of one of her plays and she earned good money.  (Sometimes recognised as first recorded Englishwoman to make a living from writing.) 
next post I will keep moving forward through time and mention a few more heroines....   please comment if you want. anyone on this list who resonates for you?  or others?  but NOT yet beyond late 1600's - that's as far as we've got chronologically.  .....   or: who are the women in your personal life who have inspired you?
with love and wishing you good journeying.  eva day.  xx
HERE IS A LINK FOR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY - 8TH MARCH.  http://www.internationalwomensday.com/   (celebrating it's centenary this year.)

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

ode to consumerism: he also serves......

I thought I would write a few show poems inspired by classic poems we've most of us at been familiar with and .... mess with them.  Here's one: I started with "he also serves who only stands and waits", thank you Milton, and then just threw in a bit of Dylan Thomas and a couple of others.....

what's it got to do with healing and life path?  I leave that to your perception...!

HE ALSO SERVES WHO ONLY STANDS AND WAITS 
he who shops will queue and wait
to be a consumer, his destiny and fate
to purchase his life will give him meaning
it is simply economic reality, not demeaning
do not go gently into that bank for a loan
and buy your insurance on the net or phone
from cradle to grave his life is a commodity
to question this would make him a quaint oddity
he can buy a baby grown in someone's womb
he can have hot porno sex piped into his living room
the road to freedom to be or not to be is not of concern
so much as his social status and how much does he earn

(eva day March 2010)

After a tough period, feeling to unwell and run down, I am writing again and blogging it here, and on my other blog Cloud Kooky Land, as a sort of writers notebook / journal.  .....   please share with me your writing or other creative pursuits, I want to be part of it!

Breaking Boxes and Flying Kites

Once, for a short period of time a few decades ago, there was a certain configuration of planets, which made some shapes in the sky – astrologers called the first shape a Grand Cross (but  bit tricky of them really, because actually it looks more like a box. And feel like one, I can tell you that from personal experience.) the other one they called a Kite and that was fair enough, looked and felt like one.  So anyway I had just done 9 months retreat in a womb like space…  (it was actually a womb) and decided it was time to arrive in the world, and as I have done ever since…. Once ready and made a decision, I go into hyper-drive.  So mum person had to call an ambulance as I appeared to be suddenly about to crash land, with no advance warning.  First she thought I was a plum, or damson, as she had eaten some home-made damson jam the day before. And this could be indigestion. But it wasn’t, it was me hurrying up so that I could have mercury on my ascendant and linked up to all the other planets….  That way I could talk a lot especially rubbish and crazy stuff….  Which would be good way to deal with the damned box thing…..

Anyway, then I was in The World and a very perplexing place it was too. But I played a lot and also noticed a lot of things.  Then I had to go to this weird place where they made me sit in a room and listen to a strange lady talking about a lot of stuff to do with algebra and the sum total of sum nonsense or other….. then another strange lady would say that I had to put on a special costume and run around a field with a bunch of other girls whacking each other in the shins in the freezing cold and have some enthusiasm and team spirit about it all.  That was a pain.  But it was better when we went in another room and a nice lady told us about some great stories and Narnia and things like what romans really did a long time ago and travelling to far away lands.  And got us to write some stories too.  That was good. 
After that I had to be a grown up and so I really went for it in quite a rush as well, when the time felt right.  Not a very sensible grown up though. Lots of magic potions and sexy jiggy stuff and taking off on mad adventures….  Found lots of weird crazy people to hang out with, that was fun. But got into some trub with not being able to leave the  magic potions alone even when they were obviously making me sick and more weird but not in a good way…. Still I wanted to get out of my head….  Well maybe really I just wanted to fly my kite, given to me when I was borned as I explain.  But how was I to know that? I never had an instruction manual or any lessons in kite flying I had to figure it out for myself.  And then there was that damned box, it make me feel very unsettled, different and not know how to belong in the world sometimes.  Still there was stories, and I read one about pandoras box, thought it might be a bit like thought. Or maybe it could be magic, turn it into treasure box . but the potions seemed like magic-  oh dear how was I to know back then that something I didn’t want got inside of me, because of them,  not in the head, but via the veins and blood..   but that would not reveal itself for many years…
Well then lots more things, what I do and what happen at me.  Like love affairs and go learn magic stories of hypnotherapy and have a child and tell her special stories, and go see some of the countries I dreamed about when I was first learn to read. Always escape in special places in imagination whatever happen….. thanks for the books and stories. Oh and I go to some festivals and play a lot more, and help pretend to be a grown up and run the festivals like they taught me in brownies when I was a kid, to do a good turn every day only thing ever made any sense there. Everything else was strange like salute the flag.  Well then after that, just like happened to me, the child I had suddenly she a grown up too and much more sensible than mum an all but very funny and also like stories and imagination.  Then I do some jobs and work and get some money and fly my kite, getting quite good at that, and keep busting out of boxes and even busting other people out of boxes, all good stuff. Not got to have the magic potion no more, now I can fly kite and have cool friends to play with and can belong to self and world…
All ok. Do some praying and travel in space and spirit also and some people do give me some great teaching lessons with all that, good as still got mercury in tow and it orbit pretty fast.  So then meet beloved soul mate and very happy love is good.  Oh we say to each other after some time something ain’t right with my body and thinking everything go weird systems shutting down go to hospital place a lot. I will stand by you through all says beloved and he does.  Some people don’t though they bugger off but I get some peace about that learn to accept.  Oh invader has a name, it called hepatitis c.  shut me in a box again I aint having that so Houdini girl gonna bust out of box. A tough one though take me 48 weeks of dedicated escapology and stil got to watch out for boxes…. But learned how to fly kite while surfing on sofa….  And how to meet good friends in cyber space through magic screen on something which looks like box but is called computer so boxes not always bad depends on what type of box you dealing with and also how you handle them like box whispering… anyway here I am now telling you about it all and just to say that if you ever have same problem – I reckon get yourself a  magic kite with that you can often float out of boxes and fly away.
Love, eva porate , a fictional character from the illustrated story book The Box Breakers and The Kite Adventures.  (by N. E. Wann  and pictures by Yuri Magi -gNation. )

Thursday, 13 January 2011

How to speak your dreams….. and hear others stories,

( this is a longer piece than I may often write, but on a theme which is part of what we are all engaged in on the net,, and just "felt right" to me.)
I awoke this morning, groggy and full of feelings of sadness and disappointment, from yet another in a series of trials by dreaming……  sad and troubled dreams…  I am not unduly worried by this, though some have been very unpleasant, as I am sure it will pass and is the natural voice of the soul telling it’s story.  Sometimes we have a great need to tell our dreams to another person… and can bore people to sleep themselves with this if we do not practice a little moderation!!  Many  friends will often listen when a dream is simply rattling in your brain to be shouted out and released….  many soul travellers will listen quietly to our own dreams, or create a dynamic with them.   Other than the relating of the content,  there are other ways to give resolution to distressing dreams, to listen to dreams that may guide, or to give creative space to dreams that just want to learn and grow…
Perhaps I (we?) can come back to that theme again here or elsewhere when the time feels right?  Meanwhile my dream and morning guidance prompts me to share something here:   not the dream itself, but the idea that was asking to be heard…..
I have used to phrases already that are the voice of this idea wanting to talk to you.  The first is “the natural voice of the soul, wanting to tell it’s story.”  The second is “listen quietly to our own dreams  …..”  which doesn’t for me, necessarily mean endless obsessive analysis. But just an openness to meet and recognise the feel, the tone of the dream and say “I hear you” but  where that feels needed  ….  to take that energy into your daily life., into active choices.

My dream, I think asked for a place and a way to tell a story about our shared voices – our courage to speak and our willingness to listen to one another.  For me over a long period of time, having been ill and very weary, and with various brain functions affected,  conversation and verbalising and even physically hearing other people’s voices has been difficult.  (Very strange experience for someone who has always been both a keen conversationalist and idle chatter-er.)  But have been able to communicate – often prolifically, intensely or even obsessively – via written word and computer screen.  I have wondered if quite simply – speech and aural centres of brain are somewhat affected by medications, but the language centres are still charged up and even more so when I am less physically active?)
And then there is listening…..  it would be very tempting to go into a totally self-centred mode when we are ill, and I have seen myself and others go through phases of this.  In fact I feel benevolent to self and others on this one – and find it pretty understandable.  There may be times when that is what is needed.  Those who become silenced through illness experience a great loss.  A person may be silenced through illness for many reasons:  the struggles of a stroke patient, to speak again; or those with Parkinsons,  ME, head injuries and of course Hepatitis C and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Or medications for other conditions, which cause disorientation.   Then there is the loneliness of those who are housebound and rarely speak to other human beings in “real time.”  Those who have depressio;n and one part of them yearns to communicate, while another part shuts down.  Similarly, those with some “special needs” syndromes, who seem remote and aloof but are trapped at times within their wish to communicate but baffling sense of a block on being able to do so. And those who feel they most “stop complaining” stop talking to others about their sickness and struggle.  But the world would be full of the sound of clashing and strident voices, seeking insistently yet pointlessly,  to be heard (and in some moments … it is) if we did not take the time and patience to also listen!!  Fortunately, many good hearts and souls out there will do so… and if we have a willingness also to explore and to reach out, we will find one another. 
The upside of technologies for communication is that this has become much easier.  We have phones and laptops and internet and web cameras….. face book and twitter and something for every type of personality or interest.  It is a practise of mine – and yes, I would say even a spiritual practise or meditation for me – to try to be aware and notice when I am stopping listening….   Perhaps I suddenly realise I am “skim reading” too often and not really taking in the subtleties and tones of another person’s message.  Or am reading it while busy chattering away in own mind, with own interpretations and associations.  In fact, the things that we all can easily fall into in real time conversation with another.  That’s when I want to slow down..  re-read.  Take time to hear the person and to let thoughts and themes from them filter through my own reality.  Often, a person doesn’t need a specific response….. or long one.. But just something that tells them … I hear you.  And for me, if I take the time to “listen to” the written word, there will be a gift in it for me. Or an idea I can pass on to another, elsewhere. (the idea not the content – very important that people feel discretion and confidentiality and respect for boundaries is understood.)
I am honoured when I receive an e-mail, a facebook message or an invitation to read something of significance, from another via cyber world, when it is a sharing of an important part of who they are, or their life.  I takes great trust to do this and yes it sometimes backfires…….   We must listen to our instincts and build good networks of support to undertake this venture, if we want to share real experiences and be safe.  Sometimes we will get hurt or inadvertently (or perhaps in anger) hurt others.  But if we have had patience – and response – in creating a network, then we will still have community to hold us as we move past these learning experiences.
I think that no matter how self-sufficient a person is, as an individual, there is a “hard-wired” part of us all that needs community.  Some of that instinct can be channelled via internet communication.  It is so, so very easy on the internet, to unconsciously approach others and their written words as if they were 2D beings that don’t really exist, except via the screen we look at and our own projections.  A little imagination and mindfulness is needed to remember that the “other” is real, a person with a being, and physical presence and daily life. 
We have e-books and blogs and you-tube videos and so many means of learning about other people’s stories now.  But it would be easy enough to “read”  these stories like a book or “watch” them like a movie.   If “John” tells me his crazy day, he is not a character in a short synopsis of a novel on screen….. he is John living it and sharing it.  If Jane makes a video of her start of treatment – for cancer, for infertility, for whatever….  She is not a movie star making a film “based on a true story.”  She is her own true story.
So for internet contact to be a real shared journey, I think that those of us incorporating it as a tool and medium within our own healing and adventures, need to bring that mindfulness with us each time that we log on……   ok sometimes we will just be in more superficial, light hearted, or playful mode.  And we have plenty of outlets for that.  But somewhere there needs to be a little zone of awareness we switched on in our minds when we pressed the on button for our computer…. That we are on one “side” of a screen and those we connect with are also “present” and there, in their own experience.
Listening and having space to be heard are both vital parts of what will help keep us whole, even through times of loss, sickness, struggle or adversity.  As well as through times of ease or celebration.  Maybe at times we will also “read between the lines” of what someone has written and we may be correct in perceiving  subtleties or implications.. Or we may be actually reading our own (perhaps important) subtexts…..   These can be projections, yes, or they can be useful to us.  But where there is confusion which blocks flow between self and others and closes down our worlds again… I think we need to have courage and straightforward now and then to do a “reality check” with the other person.    Quite simply just asking, if we lost through thread of narrative, or weren’t sure what certain phrases meant.
Again, like the telling of dreams, it is about balance and moderation.  I am sure no-one wants to get hooked into endless analysis of one another’s messages.  But from time to time, a little checking meanings and understandings may be needed…..  Again, this is part of the “listening skills” we would use in person, in every day life.
My dream in it’s darker aspect was about fear of solitary confinement of the heart.  About Not being able to hear and respond to others through the fog of illness and confusion.  About a bleak world in which technology over-rides the real being and connection of the people who use it.  But in it’s hopeful messajge, it  was really about inviting others to be part of creating community beyond isolating circumstances….. about using our resources and tools creatively. And about taking space for myself and encouraging others to do so, also.  Celebrating the shared gifts of listening and being heard.
With love and gratitude to all my on screen, real time friends and contacts. Xxx eva day

(ps. I also have a sense that I want to share a particular piece of writing by a favourite author and story teller – Clarissa PInkola Estes.  This will take some time to find and piece together as I want to offer it… so will do so over the next few days as  that is part of my soul assignment” as prompted by listening to a dream…. !! xx )

Monday, 10 January 2011

vision, hope, creative living

today I begin a new blog with a sense of hopefulness and new vision - rather weary but emerging gently from dark shadows of chronic illness and gruelling treatment for Hepatitis C.  this Ihope will be a place for anyone - Hep C patients ofr others who relate to the general themes - to touch base and use a thought, a comment or even half-formed idea as a spring board, a stepping stone or just a moment of grounding......

as I hope what will emerge here will be about healing: about illness and other adversities in life being a material for transformation and growthfulness; about triumph and celebration, too, as well as adversity. and about the real experiences that shape our experience of life and who we are  .... becoming.

for me this is a time of new beginning - gently. a little scared (sometimes very scared) and both tentative and bold.  weary in body, and often in heart and mind, too, after a bleak 48 weeks of battling the virus and the harsh effects on self and life of the treatment itself.  but -spirit is alive and  imagination, friendship and flexibility will carry us forward in so many ways.   for the first few weeks after stopping the medications, I felt no sense of recovery, direction or aliveness at all - just numbly pained and physically ill and lost.  now instinct and immune system are ready to begin the next phase of life's  adventures and reclaim life and being - in new ways with a sense of optimism that is at least to some extent grounded in the many different rhythms of life and ways of being. Chronic illness and huge battles can be a catalyst for all of us, in bringing that kind of perspective

so welcome to all visitors living the different aspects of the Hep C experience - whether living with the disease, treating for it, recovering, or a carer - there may be liver transplant patients, health workers or many to whom this is relevant.  but I would also like to open up themes common to anyone who wants to find and build meaning from times of struggle, ill health or passages through shadow lands.... as well those in a more flowing or clearer time of their lives - but beyond the immediate realities:   seeking to live with  authenticity or wholeness through

creative living, discovery, shared experience, healing, choices for well -being for self and others, community and new beginnings, recovery, gorthful transformation . and flow and good humour....

for me this is about more than me ... it is about people.  connections, shared journeys, stepping stones and signposts. I often write in the first person, but sometimes what I write is an integrated reflection of both my own experience or observations, and a kind of inner or sacred llistening to tthe stories or insights of others, and weaving those themes into my own observations.  so many friends sharing parts of the journey as we both shape it and allow it to unfold.......


live well, love much, laugh often....   xxx eva day.